Coping with stupid clients

// December 4th, 2009 // Funny Articles

It amazes me the stuff that I routinely get in IT support. Here are some recurring favorites.

1) “I’ve printed this 37 times, and it still won’t print!” Me: Did you check if there is paper in the printer?
User: (puts paper in printer) Why is it printing so many copies?
Me: Because you just told me you printed it 37 times.
User: Well why would it do that?
Me: IT didn’t do that, you did.
User: I don’t think I did. . .

2) “I’m keep getting an error message.”
Me: What does it says.
User: It doesn’t say anything.
Me: Then how do you know you have an error?
User: Because there’s the box on the screen that says: Error 104b: Driver error timeout. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Me: Didn’t you just say that it didn’t say anything?

It is absolutely amazing how often these two scenarios play out over and over and over again. I am astounded at users that tell you that they have an error and then routinely say “It doesn’t say anything” when you ask them for the details of the error message.

Another favorite:

3) “I keep getting an error message.”
Me: What does it say?
User: I have no idea. I deleted it.
Me: Then what do you want me to do? The next time it happens, give me a call.
(Later) User: I got that error message again.
Me: OK, good. What does it say?
User: I don’t know. I deleted it.

It’s amazing how confused some people’s thinking is. Here’s another classic.

User: The computer won’t let me press the “M” key.
Me: (Presses the “M” key). I can press the “M” key. Were you expecting a particular response when you pressed the “M” key.
User: No.
Me: Then what is the problem?
User: I can’t open my e-mail.
Me: Did you expect that pressing the “M” key would open your e-mail?
User: I don’t know.
Me: Are you trying to open your e-mail or are you trying to “press the M key”?
User: I don’t know.
Me: Well, what are you trying to do?
User: I don’t know.
Me: What does your boss want you to be doing right now?
User: I don’t know, but I was trying to press the “M” key and it won’t let me.

This conversation would go on for a looooonnnnngggg time. The problem is, I find I keep running into similar situations with different people. They are at work, and have absolutely NO IDEA what they are supposed to be doing. So they torture me with computers that won’t “let them press the M key” (when in fact they keyboard seems to be absolutely fine).

On the other hand, I do love it. I get to earn a decent living “fixing” absolutely nothing.

via Clientcopia : Coping with stupid clients : Quotes, Comments & Remarks.

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